here recently, i've been trying to get my head around a couple of things. i struggle a lot with self-image and how i view myself. i know that "everybody struggles with their own image." i know that it's normal. but, i need to write about it.
i don't really know how to write this without sounding like a complete loser... oh well:
i get lonely very easily. when i get lonely, i close off others. and all of this turns into a wonderful cycle of depression & desperation.
i put up an "i'm alright" front, but, more than anything, i'm waiting for someone to be able to break through that front & see me.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
days like these
re·gret
–verb (used with object)
1. to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.
2. to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth. –noun
3. a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.
4. a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.
under normal circumstances, i rarely say that i have any serious regrets. in fact, i believe that i have only two regrets to speak of. an addition to this list is difficult for me to admit; for obvious reasons. i work hard to appreciate my regrets as i would not be exactly where i am without them... they, no matter how hard i would like for them to not, are a part of me and will forever be a part of my past. but, as i said, without them, i would not be at this place, at this moment in time... and there is truly no where else i'd love to be.
today is a day when i add to my list of regrets. number 3. though, right now, i'm sure i could be convinced to treat this one as number 3 through 10. but i'm sure i'll get over that notion in a few days. my impatience costs me so much.
this will be the last time.
so help me God.
–verb (used with object)
1. to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.
2. to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth. –noun
3. a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.
4. a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.
under normal circumstances, i rarely say that i have any serious regrets. in fact, i believe that i have only two regrets to speak of. an addition to this list is difficult for me to admit; for obvious reasons. i work hard to appreciate my regrets as i would not be exactly where i am without them... they, no matter how hard i would like for them to not, are a part of me and will forever be a part of my past. but, as i said, without them, i would not be at this place, at this moment in time... and there is truly no where else i'd love to be.
today is a day when i add to my list of regrets. number 3. though, right now, i'm sure i could be convinced to treat this one as number 3 through 10. but i'm sure i'll get over that notion in a few days. my impatience costs me so much.
this will be the last time.
so help me God.
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