i have two stories to share. one is a story about my father that i have shared before and the second is something that my father wrote.
the only reason i'm sharing them is because i need to hear them. and really that is the only reason i write anything on here... so i can externalize something that i've been internalizing.
the story is also posted on my November 15, 2007 post, but i'll put here to make thinks easier:
i was a junior in high school (2001-2002).
the class was Algebra II.
the assignment was to interview someone who had a job that involved mathematics.
i interviewed my dad, a lawyer.
we were given a set of questions to ask. the last of which was, "What is the most difficult part of your job?"
my dad's answer has stuck with me to this day and has grossly shaped how i handle any situation that involves other people:
"The hardest part of my job is convincing my clients that there is another side to the story."
i went on to write:
in other words, no matter what the situation, the circumstance, the person... what you see or perceive may not be all there is.
we all, at some point, have to come to terms with the idea that our perception of how-things-are could be, and probably is, an incomplete perception. well, i guess we don't have to. but, we should.
sometimes when i have been hurt it is very difficult to even want to see things from the other person's perspective. i don't have the full picture, and neither does anyone else. this somewhat ties in with my post last time about perception and perspectives. the catch here is that for me, it's not always enough for me to remember that others will have a different side of their story... for me i always want to know what that side is.
now, the something that my father wrote. my brother, Jamie, posted this as a note on his Facebook and it struck me rather deeply. and i promise that i'll tie this in with the beginning of this post... keep with me:
I remember when Jamie was a little kid and we would go the the store. Jamie would insist upon putting money into the gumball machines in order to obtain some trinket that he HAD to have. Once I dug out my pocket the necessary change for my son to obtain his “treasure”, he would rush up and spend said money. More often than not, Jamie would be upset because the trinket or bauble he received was not what he wanted. Or, he would discard or forget about his treasure that he HAD to have within a short amount of time.
Many times, we spend our days in the same manner. We wake up, take the kids to school, go to work, go to the store, etc. and “spend” our time in pursuit of our daily “treasure” that we absolutely HAVE to have. At the end of the day, not happy with our trinket or discarding it as trash shortly thereafter.
Each day is like that dime Jamie would spend in the gumball machines. Do not waste your dime, because once you spend your dime, its gone. Treasure each item each day gives you, whether it’s a gumball that is juicy and fruity for only a short time or some sparkly ring that shines only for a day. At least it if tasty or shiny for a day. The machine could give you a pile a crap, or cancer, or shoot your best friend on the side of the road. Do not forget to cherish those small joys in life.
(for those of you who don't appreciate cursing, get ready)
life is too fucking short. it really is. there is so much out there that we don't experience because we spend our days going after bullshit that doesn't matter. i use the word bullshit because that's how valuable that stuff is compared to what we could experience. now, i'm not saying that life won't have its share of bad times or relationships. what i am saying is that we choose shitty things over beautiful things. i choose shitty things over beautiful things.
losing what we love (ie: friends, co-workers) to whatever puts things into perspective for me. i'm tired of arguing with life over what i want to be beautiful when really it is shit. plain ol' shit.
well, i would first like to extend a gracious "thank you" to the wonderful persons who brought my page views from zero up to 78! any traffic is good traffic :) also, i find it funny that i have hits from Canada, Russia, Germany, Taiwan, Latvia and Nigeria... oh, and from South Korea (but i know who that is).
this past week has been.... a roller coaster ride, to say the least. very emotional times with losing some things (read: people) that cannot be replaced. it reminded me that each person's perspective is that person's reality. my perspective is my reality. your perspective is your reality. the important part comes in remembering (which i had to force myself to remember this) to not mistake the limits of your perception as the limits of the world.
that being said, i want to talk about something slightly political. and i may piss off a few people... but please remember that i mean no harm.
today, the Senate voted down an attempt to bring DADT into debate. GLBT/LGBT issues are on the forefront of a lot of discussions. the fact it is an election year is probably to "blame," but it is important.
i want to start with a lot of caveats because i don't want anyone to mistake what (or how) i say for what it is not. and i also don't want anyone to think that by disagreeing with what they've said is, by any means, me disagreeing with the key issue.
- i believe that DADT should be repealed
- i'm not a democrat
- i'm not a republican
- i don't hate the US military, i support it
- i believe that everyone has the right to have a belief and to express it
ok. here we go.
i understand why it is upsetting that the Senate voted this down. GLBT/LGBT persons are, on a daily basis, discriminated against. sometimes in subtle ways, sometimes in big ways. but it is still discrimination. i get rather perturbed and rather often whenever there's a news story that comes up and there are comments like "I can't believe that with one stroke of a pen, this judge is going against a majority vote of the state!!" and like "It's about time! The Republican'ts are trying to bring us back the 1950s." i find issue with the thoughts behind both of these comments.
i firmly advocate that the existence of any one right of any one person should not be decided by a majority vote. (i'll go ahead and connect the dots) if that were so, then minorities would have no rights. in my 8th grade civics class, my teacher taught us something that i think has been lost: the majority vote decides what America does, but it should never be at the cost of the minority.
now, here's the clincher: i have no issues with the Senate voting against bringing up the debate on DADT today. (don't get angry yet...) i think we need to be patient. yes, there are many serving in the military right this moment that are GLBT/LGBT that have to hide who they are and there are those who have been kicked out, "dishonorably" so, because their sexual identity came to be known. i'm in favor of waiting for the survey that has been sent out to those actually serving in the military. the people it will directly effect, and not just the GLBT persons, has to be considered. if this is done too quickly and without much planning and without much careful thought, it could be disastrous. for everybody. we have to be in this together, or it won't work. i'm not saying that if we should wait, think carefully and have exact planning that it will absolutely go right. but, i'd rather caution on the side of preparedness.
yes, GLBT/LGBT persons are being treated as de facto second class. but, we are not the only ones that will be effected by this. Lady Gaga, of whom musically i am not a fan, said that the new law should be "If you don't like it, go home." to me, this is nearly as bad as sending home gays from the military. if someone believes that being gay is wrong... they have every right to believe it. but they should not receive the same treatment as gays in the military now get.
so, this is turning into a much longer post that i anticipated. so, i'll go ahead and give a conclusion.
we need to be patient. but we also need to be consistent in our response to DADT. every person matters and every person in the military will be effected by this. not just the heterosexuals. not just the homosexuals. everyone. it is not going to be easy if and when DADT is repealed... but we can work with each other to make sure it goes easier. now i'll bring in my tie-in from the beginning of my post. perspectives matter. and i'm saying this more to myself because i need to hear it right now more than ever: don't mistake the limits your perspective as the limits of the world (or of other people).
levi
