a couple of stories

one is pleasant, the other serious.

story one:

i was sitting at a red light, patiently waiting for it to turn green... happily satisfied with my lane choice (the far left lane, right next the turn lane). the Coldplay song i was listening to was politely interrupted by a "Excuse me, sir?" the elderly lady in the car to my left then continued, "May I get in front of you when the light turns green?" i responded, "Of course!" it was the most pleasant driving experience i've ever encountered... and it was rather refreshing for a jaded-small-town driver like myself. the light turned green and i allowed the kind lady in front of me. i drove away from the intersection feeling rather hopeful about the world.

story the other:

i had a wonderful chat with the priest of the parish i've been attending. i spoke with him about some more of my past. specifically about my depression and prayer. i tried my best to explain the nature of my depression to him and the nature of my prayers concerning it... and how they have changed over the years.

he spoke with me about my prayers and it was encouraging. however, he said that he is not in the business of making me feel better... he is in the business of bringing me closer to YHWH. he even preceded what he said with a caveat, which was taken into consideration... but i knew that what he was about to say would be good for me whether or not i wanted to hear it. he said that, perhaps, my depression is God's way of making me holy and that it might not ever change (see ref: St Terese of Avila). i'm brave enough to write that i immediately began weeping. even if this turns out to be not true, it is possible. a possibility i have to learn to accept. i know this next phrase will perhaps ruin my post by being overly sentimental... but Green Day might have been right... "Don't ask why. It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time."


i'm ready.